tell me

take me…
“fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars..let me see what spring is like on jupiter and mars..in other words hold my hand..in other words darling kiss me”

know me…
“the virgin is the one whose search springs from her complete independence, and everything she learns is the fruit of her ability to face challenges alone..the witch justifies her existence by going in search of complete and limitless pleasure”

love me
“get high with me..come touch the sky with me..see life with new eyes with me”

the red nose blondy

i is sick today. i was sick yesterday too. i can barely breathe. not able to function. i decided to write one post a day. everyday. so this is today’s post. dedicated to me. the blondy with the red nose. i cant lead a sleigh. but i will light your way. follow me and you will get there. one way or another you will be free. fly away little butterfly. spread your wings and aim high. for tomorrow you will die.

the witch of portobello

we were introduced in winter of 2002. when i reached for him. would not let go. i was fragile to his words. hopeless to his charm. captive in his world. holding him day after night. inhaling his power. exhaling my weakness. i was his forever…at the end. the day had come. his story had been told. his hero had survived. i had to let go. 5 years would have to pass. yesterday would have to come. a twist in fate would have to be done. so i would meet him in person. his name i would scream. “stay” i would shout. two hours of waiting would have to pass. our eyes to lock. our smiles to shine. “love” he would write. next to my name he would sign. his hands i would touch. his voice i would hear. his face i would see. “my books are for all people looking to find their own path in life” he said. what magic would come along with him? now that our paths have crossed. now that he is no longer a voice in my head. he is an image in my life.

footnote: brazilian author paulo coelho was in dubai yesterday to promote his latest book the witch of portobello. more than 500 people were squeezing their way in to the tiny bookstore to get a personalized signed book. i waited in line for more than two hours. i even got stepped on. but i did it.  i got his signature. it was a good adventure. something to remember. he is my favourite author in the whole wide world.

the end.

break out

break away from the pack. set out to rule your empire. all alone. leave behind what you want not. bring along what you need may. never look back to what has been. seek ahead to what shall be. what has been once will never be again. what you were might be forgotten. red blood will flow again. strong bones will grow again. you will stand tall again. not before you crawl and fall. not before you tear and break. you will see the sun again. the heat will burn your face again. you will smile to rain again. the cold will ice your toes again. ..now look back and then up again. praise the Lord for what has been. for yesterday. for today. for tomorrow.

show me the money

i just cashed my first paycheck. i didn’t get a full salary. i was paid only 30% cause i only worked less than 2 full weeks this month. my current 30% was my full 100% salary in 2002. and in 2000 it was barely 2 months pay.  my full monthly income will also be 50% more than my monthly income in 2006, extra large LV Manhattan bag here comes mommy.

technology murder

this morning my virgin notebook died on me. my 1st day in the office i was presented with a brand new shiny IBM/Lenovo laptop. with a fresh hardware smell and never before touched keypad. i unwrapped it from the box and set it up nicely on my desk. this baby was home. this morning i came to the office and before i had the chance to greet her good morning she goes into technical shock. poor baby. she didn’t yet justify her manufacturing cost. i’ve been on the phone with UK with our techy-s, and they are having a hard time reviving her. they juiced her with update ivy. pumped her with anti virus dosages but shes still not 100% responsive. oh the poor thing!!!

employee of the month

after 12 weeks of mental and physical vegetation i got up yesterday put on my brown suit hugged my new LV handbag hopped in my designer shoes and stepped right into my new office-building elevator. right up to the 13th floor. being addicted to 9 to 6 work routine the past 12 weeks felt more like 12 months. 4 months in beirut praying for a drop pf rain and a cold breeze. 8 months in dubai praying for shelter from rainstorms and the freezing winds. decorating the house. picking up the pieces of a long forgotten gym schedule. shopping till my savings run dry. hiring my 1st full time employee, live in house help. now im back to the field. grabbing my one minute glory. sweating for my one minute fortune. giving my days to get back a future.

ya watany

wished i was looking at images from the media archives. hoped i was watching a flash back of what it was like. cried that i was looking at today. 16 years of peace vanished with the flames of burning tires and cars. 16 years of prosperity crumbled down to ashes. is this the future we fought and died for during the war…but then…what more should i expect if my country was and will always be ruled by the same names. faces that once were tight and are now saggy and wrinkled. what more should i expect if we have brought back and set free the war lords that once crushed the country into million and one pieces. what more should i expect if the country is divided into 10,452 zones. what more should i expect if the country is being led to eternal doom by internal fanatics and external powers. why cant we wake up and see through these illusions? why cant we say enough to those saggy faces that are leading us to hell? why cant we refuse to be ruled by overconsumed political agendas? why cant the people choose their fate for once? lebanese are killing lebanese. thats the truth. thats the reality. it doesnt matter who fired the first shot, threw the first stone what matters now is to rise above all this, for once as lebanese united together against one eternal goal. a Lebanon for all.

oh happy day

i finally chose a dress. made that call and signed the contract. it was a very fulfilling ego boost for me to get several good offers at the same time. i am both thrilled and humbly grateful to be granted this opportunity.

wanted

what do you do when you cant decide. i was never good at screening multiple options. i dont like to be given the privilege. when ive chosen the black dress dont go and fetch for me the red one from the stock room. at this specific moment, displayed for my eyes only, are not only the black and the red dresses but also the green and the yellow and the blue. true each color has its charisma and charm. true each color is magical and sensational in its own way. but which one would i be comfortable in the longest? which one will not have its colors fading after some time? which dress puts out the true me?

 PS: you know im not talking about dresses here right? (cause i would simply get all the colors)…the dress is simply a metaphor representing the several job offers that i have at the moment and the agony rush im going through to decide which one to take.