ya watany

January 26, 2007

wished i was looking at images from the media archives. hoped i was watching a flash back of what it was like. cried that i was looking at today. 16 years of peace vanished with the flames of burning tires and cars. 16 years of prosperity crumbled down to ashes. is this the future we fought and died for during the war…but then…what more should i expect if my country was and will always be ruled by the same names. faces that once were tight and are now saggy and wrinkled. what more should i expect if we have brought back and set free the war lords that once crushed the country into million and one pieces. what more should i expect if the country is divided into 10,452 zones. what more should i expect if the country is being led to eternal doom by internal fanatics and external powers. why cant we wake up and see through these illusions? why cant we say enough to those saggy faces that are leading us to hell? why cant we refuse to be ruled by overconsumed political agendas? why cant the people choose their fate for once? lebanese are killing lebanese. thats the truth. thats the reality. it doesnt matter who fired the first shot, threw the first stone what matters now is to rise above all this, for once as lebanese united together against one eternal goal. a Lebanon for all.

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oh happy day

January 24, 2007

i finally chose a dress. made that call and signed the contract. it was a very fulfilling ego boost for me to get several good offers at the same time. i am both thrilled and humbly grateful to be granted this opportunity.

wanted

January 22, 2007

what do you do when you cant decide. i was never good at screening multiple options. i dont like to be given the privilege. when ive chosen the black dress dont go and fetch for me the red one from the stock room. at this specific moment, displayed for my eyes only, are not only the black and the red dresses but also the green and the yellow and the blue. true each color has its charisma and charm. true each color is magical and sensational in its own way. but which one would i be comfortable in the longest? which one will not have its colors fading after some time? which dress puts out the true me?

 PS: you know im not talking about dresses here right? (cause i would simply get all the colors)…the dress is simply a metaphor representing the several job offers that i have at the moment and the agony rush im going through to decide which one to take.

the road is mine

January 16, 2007

what would look good with my new pink mont blanc keychain…she thought. pens, she has to fill papers by miles. sunglasses, she has to block sun light for eternity. bags, she has in every color and shape…she is confused. it must be something personal. unique to her lifestyle. something aggressive yet sweet just like her. musky smell. smooth leather. she must hear it roar. power, thats what she wants. style, thats what she needs. slick curves for pure sport aggression. an accessory that leaves no question as to who’s in command…”a new breed of design, sports and emotion”. that only it can be. she got herself a car.

 commas have been used for grammatical purposes only.

showtime

January 16, 2007

been running all my life. running to be somewhere. running to get there fast. going through time on the fast lane. now i stopped. hit the brakes. i no longer wish to run. want to walk and smell the roses. take a break. enjoy life in slow motion. steady pace. step by step. tear down the walls built around me. reach out. let people in. learn to trust again.  practice patience. discover a want. appreciate a need. undo fast forward. rewind. catch up missed frames. relax and enjoy the show.

Kate: How can you do that?
Jack: What?
Kate: Look at me like you haven’t seen me every day for the last 13 years.

(from family man)

a thought on new beginnings

January 11, 2007

im grateful for everything. i walk down the street and think, im not dizzy, my legs are working right, i can see straight and smell and hear clearly. its a nice day. i have a family that loves me and friends who will be there no matter what.

“missundaztood mar on what life is like after a nervous breakdown”

dont speak

January 10, 2007

people should just shut up and use sign language instead

“i tear my heart open, i sew myself shut
my weakness is that i care too much
and my scars remind me that the past is real
i tear my heart open just to feel”

for tomorrow

January 10, 2007

its almost midnight. dog next door is barking. hell wake me up again in a few hours. cant sleep. house too quiet. street is deserted. look out through the window. its pitch black. nohting to see. was a rewarding day today. smiled a few times. felt content and satisfied. heard a few good news. tomorrow the sun will rise again. wake up and do it all over again. live another day.

deja vu

January 9, 2007

in black suit and high heels walking in DIC* sipping a cup of Costa coffee… ive been here before. walked in these walls. sat there. had a bite. sipped a cup of coffee… i look around. the walls havent changed. the faces look so familiar. suits pass me by wrapping masses of hopes, dreams and disapointments. i have changed… these walls no longer intimidate me.  blue chip aroma does not stimulate me. once i gazed upon infected glory. corrupted internal politics. superficial alliances. theatrical performances. this time…i move on taking with me my cup of coffee and leaving behind what was once.

* Dubai Internet City

youre hired

January 8, 2007

in a small square room we sat. the space was grey and old. he picked up the sheets from the mess in front of him. gazed at the stained window shutters. looked at me, opened his mouth and this is what happened next.

him: why dont you tell me a little about yourself?
moi: i’m happily married and orginally from Lebanon

him: what kind of a job youre looking for?
moi: with excellent salary and incentives package

him: why should we hire you?
moi: so you skip the long candidates line and go home early

him: where do you see yourself in 5 years?
moi: probably ill be your boss by then

him: how would your friends describe you?
moi: natural blondy

him: are you a team player?
moi: depends on the team

 so when do I start?